Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Be grateful Canada has no cow myth

To quote Galadriel, lizard queen of Lord of the Rings,

'The world is changed: I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the air...Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.'

A) Okay, that might be a bit over the top but the world has changed. Yesterday was our flags 40th birthday. I personally would have planted flamingoes on the lawn but it turns out the first maple leaf flag isn't even in Canada. It's in Europe!

If you want to know how it hopped across the pond and took an extended vacation in the old country, read this.

Also, while I was looking for that I found some info on proper flag etiquette.

  • Canada's national flag must always fly on its own flagpole

  • When the flag is raised, lowered, or paraded, all those present must face the flag in silence

  • If flown from a vehicle, it must be attached to a flagpole on the right side of the chassis

  • The flag may not be written on, marked or modified

  • It should not be used as a table cloth or seat cover, masking for boxes or as a barrier on a platform

  • B) The hockey season has now been officially killed. It suffered for months in unsanitary conditions after supposedly being rescued from an illegal trap. The SPCS (society for the prevention of cruelty to sports franchises) was called several times by concerned neighbours but nothing could be proven. Last night, they were called again and finally removed the season to a shelter where it was humanely euthanized. There are reports that the season is survived by several offspring but no word on who or when they will replace the hockey season. Further information to come sometime in September.

    C) Kyoto is now officially law. Oh my gosh, hide under the covers, turn on your flashlights and make spooky fingershadows on the wall! Let's not panic. What exactly does this mean? Does it mean we all get a free trip to Kyoto, Japan? No, it means Canada's environment minister 'formally notified the UN of the ratification of the Kyoto Accord'. It's a treaty that was signed in 1997 by 141 countries to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. The problem here is that they promised to reduce emissions 6% below 1990 emission levels. This was 15 years ago and Canada has surpassed its 1990 levels by about 20%. So now we have to reduce our emissions by 30%. This whole mumble jumble of promises has a big problem.

    Companies that are environmentally friendly get these things called "emission credits". Companies in Canada that are big polluters can then buy these credits internationally from these "green companies". That way, Canada can meet its "emission target" without actually reducing its own emissions. Disgusting isn't it? This sounds like a loophole big enough to rope Babe the blue ox. Of course, Kyoto might be then be the solution to the BSE problem but that is an issue for another day.

    In conclusion, Canadians should be happy that they don't have their own legend about a bovine because it would produce enough methane to make the Kyoto Protocol irrelevant.

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