Tuesday, May 24, 2005

New Ambassador to Canada

Well, America's ambassador to Canada, Paul Cellucci is leaving his job. We should all be singing Auld Lang Syne because it's a new year. That guy has been pissing me off ever since he said he was "disappointed and upset" about our decision not to join the war in Iraq. That's a very diplomatic way of putting it because from what I got from his own mouth in interviews, he was disgusted. He just doesn't seem to like us and don't you think you should like your job if you're going to do it well?

The man who's going to replace him is David Wilkins and from what I read in the paper, he's a nice guy but then, on the net, he's a southern fundamentalist. And I just can't decide which one to disbelieve more so I need your help. Well actually, I need help from someone who has seen him in action or knows him or at least delivered pizza to him.

Is he a nice guy? Does he use fabric softener? Does he remember the summer of '69? My one problem with the man is that he has visited Canada exactly once, in the 70s. I can't see how he would have gotten a very good impression of my country as the only colours that existed in the 70s were brown and orange. He said he doesn't know a lot about Canada so I expect him to do some reading. I can't see how he can be worse than the man he's replacing so I hope he does a good job.

Two asides completely unrelated to this topic: 1) In another interesting developement, a Liberal member of Parliament located in Labrador has died, meaning that an election needed to be held. A Liberal was elected to the seat, making the seats dead even 153-153. Independant member Chuck Cadman holds the balance of power. This message is for him: Chuck, if you screw this up, I'm coming to your house, duck taping you to a chair and making you listen to a CD of Joan Rivers singing, set to repeat.

2) Did anyone watch the Contender finale? I had imagined myself not being able to watch grown men beat each other to death but I was actually cheering them on. Carnal rage? Sadistic? I prefer to call it, living through someone else's actions. But I won't spoil it for you, let's just say that the man I was gunning for won. I always thought boxing was more bloody but there were few cuts and little blood. Vampire boxers, now there's a cable access show if I've ever heard one.

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