Friday, July 15, 2005

Canadian Beef Ban Lifted

Things seem to be moving along for the beef industry up here. A few days ago, a US appeals court lifted the ban on Canadian beef. Hopefully this means that we'll be able to move stock across the border again but everybody has to hold their breath. A ruling next week from the same judge that kept cattle from moving across the border in April will determine the outcome of the POCS (pissed off cow syndrome). I suspect that many Canadians will die of asphyxiation if he doesn't rule in our favour. Then he'll feel bad.

As for those guys at R-Calf, I was listening to one guy on the radio saying that he just wanted to protect his country, his culture and his family from Canadian beef. Ladies and germs, when was the last time a side of beef attacked your loved ones? If you have come across this problem just be sure to phone the Beef Exterminators and they'll come right over to your house and roast that sucker on the barbie. There's nothing like eating the flesh off of a pest you brought home from the supermarket.

I also don't understand what the whole 'destruction of culture' bit was about? Are you afraid Canadian cows will eat the Declaration of Independance? While I'm sure that aged paper would taste good to, I don't know, silverfish, I highly doubt that a cow would be interested. Plus, isn't the Declaration sealed away in bullet-proof glass? Even if a cow did get a hankering for tree products, they wouldn't be able to get near it. Unless it was a cow with a gun. I think I smell a fall sitcom.

And honestly, how can this guy claim that Canadian beef is dangerous when a case of Mad Cow was discovered in Texas? I'm sure he's not going to ban beef from Texas so what's the deal? Maybe he thinks that cows north of the 49th parallel develop some sort of strange disease. Well, actually, I think I might have heard something about this. Canadian beef cows have been known to have feces fights with milk cows. They also have a tendency to maul anyone who mentions POCS.

I mean, the Kiwis (New Zealanders) opened their borders to us and they have some of the strictest regulations in the world for cattle.

Did I mentioned that I love Alberta beef? A few years ago I attended a relative's wedding where top Sirloin from Alberta was served and my fork cut through it like butter. It was so good (cue drooling Homer Simpson sound).

Check this link out for more info.

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