Lucas rips off Ape Club

Hey, guess what, Bigfoot's been spotted again and this time it was in Manitoba.
Apparently a man named Bobby Clarke shot footage of the animal/creature/hairy man along the Nelson River in Manitoba.

I'm not saying I believe in the existence of these animals/creatures/hairy men, but if it's a hoax then a lot of people went to an awfu lot of trouble to dress up in monkey suits. Ahem, I mean ape suits. Maybe there's some sort of underground club where men dress as apes that you're not supposed to talk about. "The first rule of Ape Club is, you bring your own suit. There's none of this, 'I forgot mine can I borrow yours?'."

Now, I spent a great deal of time thinking about this, about five minutes. Could this all be some plot by George Lucas to promote the last Star Wars movie? I mean, don't Bigfoot and Wookies look an awful lot alike? The movie opens in less than a month and a Bigfoot just happens to show up and get caught on tape? But maybe I've got this all backwards. Maybe Lucas based the whole Wookie species on Bigfoot. If so, you'd think Bigfoot (Bigfeet?) would want to see some royalties.

My advice? Check out Bigfoot footage and then go see the movie. See if any of the Wookies in it resemble the hairy men on video, I mean the Bigfoot(feet). I'll bet someone could do a documentary on this and make hundreds. But Lucas would probably parachute in with lawyers before anyone made any money on it. It's safer to wait until the man has passed on and been incased in carbonite.

Mr. Fox Goes Running

At the age of eighteen, he was diagnosed with osteogenic sarcoma and for those of you who aren't doctors, this means bone cancer. As a result his right leg had to be amputated to 15 inches above the knee in 1977.

When he was in the hospital he saw cancer patients, many of them children and decided to run across Canada to raise $1 million for cancer research. He spent 18 months and ran over 5000 km to train for the journey. Then, on April 12, 1980, he dipped his prosthetic in the Atlantic and started out. In the beginning it was difficult to get anyone to pay attention to Terry but eventually, as he got closer to Ontario, interest and enthusiasm grew. Every day he ran 42 km, an amout which I consider insane. I think he even could have run in the Olympics, he had that much endurance and heart.

This is where the sad part comes in. After running 5373 km (143 days) he was forced to stop outside of Thunder Bay, Ontario because the cancer had spread to his lungs. He passed away a little more than a year later on September 1, 1981. But even though he's no longer with us, his goal has become our goal. To date, $360 million has been raised for cancer research and the Terry Fox Run is run in over 50 countries in the world.

On April 4, the loon on the dollar was been replaced by Terry and by all accounts, people were lining up at the Royal Mint just to exchange their loonie for one. Only 11 million will be issued but I personally think that they're going to have to do a second run. Everyone's going to hoard those things. I certainly know I'm gonna get one.

As for Terry, he's the one guy we can all agree upon.

Remember the "Mitten Debacle" of '23?

Well, this should brighten someone's day. It certainly made me feel better after all of the crummy weather I've suffered through. 2005 officially marks the birth of the National Mitten Registry.

Picture this, a scene of white, newly fallen snow. The plow has yet to come by on this quiet back street. Nearby a dog urinates on a fencepost and a child down the street has just eaten a handful of yellow snow. Then you you ever reach into your pocket for your mittens and discover that somewhere between home and the grocery store, you lost one. This has happened often enough to me that I'm looking for a pair of mittens attached by string. You know, the kind you had when you were a kid?

Now to some this may be just a bitter reminder of winter. It may also seem like a bit of fluff. Honestly, who's going to reclaim a mittenthey lost if they see a picture of it on the internet? All I can say is that if it's cold enough, you're going to want to have that other mitten.

Personally, I like the idea. It's very Canadian, practically irrelevant. No really, it's cute in a sort of dopey way. What would make it more interesting though is if we had a black market for mittens or if mittens were being stolen on purpose for ransom or reward money. Scandals could erupt about political leaders and for years people would talk about the famous "mitten debacle" where millions were pumped into a missing mittens fund that never really existed. Stories could be run by national papers about middle aged men who have a fascination with left-handed gloves and have a collection of them in the trunk of their car. Anything is possible, especially with a logo as suspicious-looking as the National Mitten Registry's.